Well, its Saturday, and I have a jack hammer running in my head, and I'm frustrated with my daughter!
SOMETHING has to change! I can't keep going through all the disrespect from her. it brings me down really, and it hurts.. I left this kind of stuff when I left her dad in 1998.. im tired of walking on egg shells with her. im sure homelessness has ALOT to do with it..
UGH! homelessness.. that word.
I dont like the sound of it... I dont like the feeling I have because of it. so many people have expirenced it. it takes your self worth, your pride, and everything else away from you.
One thing that has been a constant in my life is God. Always providing, always taking care of us! Thank you Lord! even when I am not faithful, He is thank you Jesus! He has put wonderful people in my life, and i am grateful. now if I could only get through this time with my daughter!
My nerves are history... all I do is eat eat eat! hungry or not! my thoughts are scattered most of the time, and again, its frustrating!
I praise You Lord, and give you all the glory!
So, my daughter and I are house setting for a friend of ours, and you know, I had to empty out the hotel room so that we could come here! TOO MUCH WORK!!! i so badly want a place to call my own!
So my mind is thinking to Tuesday, and how I need to go to the neurologist, and how I need to find a place to stay..
when you are homeless, your mind always ends up back to thinking of where you will be staying next!
I try not to let worry and fear creep in.. it does all to easy though!
I have applied for disability, was denied, and now have a lawyer to appeal that decision.. I dont want it forever, just for now, so i can get my health back! one of the places I applied for called me to set up an interview! so I set up an interview, and will look for work until the disability comes through!
it's something I have to do if I want to get a place to live, and a vehicle! keep me in your thoughts and prayers, Iappreciate it!
Gosh, every day is such a struggle for me!
The depression stinks, and playing the waiting game doesnt help at all cause I don't wait very well.. being homeless doesnt help with the depression.. kinda gets my anxiety going till i have an attack... just breathe! slowly breathe in... slowly exhale...
Homelessness knows no ethnic background, social status or anything like that.. we all say " it won't happen to me " well guess what? it did... how does it make me feel? like im not good enough.. like im a bad mom.. like like like like like... yes, the devil just loves when I doubt myself, and have fear.. well get behind me satan!!
God has gotten me through ALL of this.. without Him, im nothing. WITH Him I can do all!
I get tired... physically, and then my anxiety spikes and I have trouble breathing...this new chapter in my life has really worn me down...
Need to make more phone calls tomorrow... maybe eat healthy tomorrow.. lol theres always hope, right! will write more later..
